Today was an "I can't get out of bed" day
when the tears come unbidden
before my head leaves the pillow
and the only thought rolling around in my head
is that I wish my heart would just...STOP.
Stop hurting.
Stop wishing.
Stop breaking.
Stop loving.
Stop living.
Stop beating.
I don't want to live here without you
so it's a fitting punishment
for failing so greatly at the only job
you ever gave me -
MOTHER.
Can this be over yet?
I do not know what this is
but it isn't life
it isn't living
it isn't happy
Tomorrow will be the same
another day where I will wish with every fiber of my being
that none of this was real.
Yesterday alone in my car I screamed,
"I'm ready to leave the simulation now!"
"Please! Please, I'm done with this,
no more, it hurts too much, all it ever does is HURT!"
MAKE
IT
STOP
But this is reality. Of course it is. Of course. I know.
The only reason I know it's real is because I can't wake up...
